Jimmy Evans, CEO and founder of Marriage Today, often speaks of four crucial habits that emotionally healthy couples have.  He states that couples have to make good habits and disciplines central to their relationship.

What are these good habits of healthy couples?

  1. Praying together and trusting God. It is one thing to attend a worship service together and it is yet another thing to pray together.  One elderly couple in the first congregation that I served told me the secret of their long marriage.  They said that in their first week of marriage they started a habit that continued throughout their marriage.  It was in that week that they decided every night they would kneel next to each other before they went to bed and pray together.  I have often said that the way to get closer to your spouse happens when you get closer to God.  Ella and Albert testified to that.
  2. Resolving negative feelings daily. Having negative feelings or experiencing anger is not sinful, but when these feelings continue to simmer inside then they can lead to bitterness and even health issues.  Or, as Evans puts it: “Today’s anger isn’t a problem.  But yesterday’s anger is definitely a problem.”  Resolving them daily doesn’t allow them to simmer and chip away at your relationship.
  3. Have fun together and become best friends. Remember how you fell in love in the first place?  When you first met your spouse, you were not in love but with shared experiences and conversations love developed and grew.  When those things stop it is only natural that love will begin to waver.  Sure, your interests may change, and you may not be physically or emotionally up to all the things you did in your younger years but that only opens the door to new opportunities for the two of you to explore together.  Discover what interests your spouse and join in!
  4. Build close relationships with believers, individually and as a couple. Others do have influence on us and the people we associate with can influence our own marriage.  Your church is a good place to start to find others who will have a good Christian influence on you and who will inspire you to have and to keep healthy habits in your relationship.

Rev. Mick Wolfram – Lutheran Family Service Congregational Services Ministry Team

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