How to rewire your mind towards compassion and love.

Looking for love, or “whatever is lovely” in your life and relationships? Read on!

The pain-body

Like static overpowering a radio signal, negativity can block us from tuning in to the positive healing of love, whether it be with God, in our relationships, or within ourselves.

In Eckhart Tolle’s bestselling book, The Power of Now, these static waves of negativity make up what is called our pain-body, or the collective painful emotions and memories each of us carry around.

We each have a great capacity to love and be loved. We must overcome our propensity to focus on the negative to be able to love and be loved well.

Situations, conversations, or even thoughts that resonate with a memory of pain trigger the pain-body. The pain-body always looks for a chance to suffer whether it be from a fight with a loved one, conflict at work, or the sadness of loss.

The love-body

According to Marci Shimoff in her book Love for No Reason, in the same way that the pain-body feeds on pain, the love-body develops by seeking and giving love, compassion, and empathy. To develop a love-body rather than a pain-body one has to practice positive thinking and being. When we repeat a positive thought or action, rather than a negative one, our neural pathways associated with these actions become wider. Neurons wire together in new healthier ways.

We can extend happiness, compassion, benevolence, and love to ourselves, our families, and even strangers. These attributes are the basis of healthy relationships and a happy life.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

Some questions to contemplate:

  • Do you feel at peace with yourself and others?
  • Are you appreciative of what is happening in your life in the present?
  • Are you connected to God’s creations and the natural world?
  • Do you feel supported by friends, family, coworkers, and your community?
  • Do you feel God is present, looking out for you, and knows your path?
  • Do you feel deserving of love, and do you give an abundance of love in return?
  • Do you approach others from a perspective of emptiness or fullness?

Maybe today you are living more in the pain-body than in the happy state of healthy relationships with yourself, others, and God. Perhaps now is the time to move in a more positive direction in your life, intentionally looking for love and compassion. Give Lutheran Family Service a call and make that first step toward change. A happy life is possible. We’re here to walk with you toward that future.

Lutheran Family Service counselor, Lindy Hinckley, tLMFT, serves individuals, couples, and families in person in both Chamberlain and Sioux Falls, South Dakota, and in other states via telehealth.

If you or someone you know is in need of Christ-centered mental health or marriage counseling, refer to or contact us today to schedule an appointment.

Lutheran Family Service walks with those experiencing difficult times through mental health counseling, marriage counseling, crisis pregnancy counseling, and adoption services.



More posts about Marriage & Relationships