Posted on June 24, 2025 by Kimberly Laube
Adoption
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Choosing an adoption agency for private domestic infant adoption is one of the most important decisions a hopeful adoptive couple will make. It impacts not only your family, but also the expectant parent(s), and most importantly—the child God may be placing in your life.
At Lutheran Family Service, we believe adoption is a sacred journey guided by faith, wisdom, and compassion. Whether you’re just beginning to explore adoption or are actively looking for an agency to walk alongside you, these questions will help you in choosing an adoption agency that is Christ-centered, ethical, and compassionate.
1. Is the adoption agency licensed to do adoption work in your state?
Licensing is a sign of trustworthiness and accountability. Licensed agencies are regularly inspected to ensure they follow all child welfare laws and employ qualified professionals. This professional oversight helps ensure the adoption process remains ethical and legal, offering protection for you, the expectant parent, and the child. Not all agencies are licensed. Unlicensed agencies will typically use a licensed attorney for part of the process. By doing so, the adoption agency is not subject to inspections, and their practices are not reviewed. There are two ways to determine if the agency is licensed:
2. Is the adoption agency a 501(c)(3) nonprofit?
Nonprofit organizations use their resources to serve families and support life-affirming missions rather than generating profit for investors. Choosing an adoption agency that is not-for-profit helps ensure that their focus is on ministry and care rather than revenue. There are two main ways to verify nonprofit status:
3. In which states does the adoption agency operate?
Confirm the agency’s ability to serve in both your state and the expectant parent’s state, especially for interstate adoptions. Working with an agency licensed in multiple states helps prevent delays and ensures a legally sound process.
4. How many families are currently waiting to adopt?
Will you be one of 20 families, or one of 200? A smaller waiting pool may increase the chances your profile is seen more frequently and allows for more personalized attention during the process.
5. What does the adoption agency say about wait times?
Every adoption journey is unique. Beware of any agency that makes promises or guarantees. While agencies may share average wait times, they don’t reflect your individual circumstances and are not a good indicator of how long you may wait. Since expectant parents usually choose adoptive families based on their own preferences, your wait time will depend on factors such as openness and fit—not how long you’ve been waiting—and is not in the control of the agency. Staying grounded in God’s timing brings peace and keeps expectations healthy.
6. When does the adoption agency typically match couples with expectant parents?
Ask whether matches are made early in pregnancy or later on. Matches made closer to the due date are often more stable because the expectant parent has had time to consider her decision fully. While earlier matches can still succeed, later ones tend to come with greater clarity and confidence.
7. What is the adoption agency’s policy and approach to financial assistance for expectant parents?
Financial assistance should follow state laws and be handled with transparency. Following these procedures protects everyone involved and helps keep the adoption process lawful and respectful. Never give money directly to an expectant parent. It’s important that funds are paid directly to third-party providers (e.g., landlords, utility companies, cell phone provider). This ensures expenses are legitimate and documented protecting all parties involved as giving money directly to an expectant parent can be seen as coercion.
State-specific guidelines:
Note: Medical expenses are not subject to these caps.
8. Who is providing counseling to the expectant parent(s), and how?
Expectant parent(s) deserve support, compassion, and guidance as they navigate a deeply personal and emotional decision. Those who are well-supported and fully informed are more likely to make confident, lasting decisions that lead to healthy outcomes for themselves, the child, and the adoptive family. Ask whether the pregnancy and adoption counseling is done in person, how often the counselor is meeting with the expectant parent(s), and whether the counselor helps the expectant parent(s) explore all options—including parenting—as well as available support in their community. Also ask whether the counselor will be present during delivery and coordinate access to the hospital.
The best outcomes involve as much communication, meaningful support, and thorough exploration of all possibilities before the birth of the baby. When expectant parent(s) have time, space, and trusted guidance, they are more equipped to make confident, informed decisions. Adoption agencies should prioritize the health, well-being, and dignity of expectant parent(s) every step of the way.
9. Is the adoption agency helping the expectant mother access prenatal care?
Ask how the agency assists with Medicaid applications, medical appointments, transportation, and obtains permission for medical records. If the agency is not located in her state, ask how they ensure she receives adequate support. Ensuring she has regular prenatal care strengthens her health, the baby’s health, and her trust in the adoption plan.
10. How does the adoption agency handle birthfather involvement?
Ask when the agency contacts the birthfather, how they explore his intentions, and what steps are taken to involve him appropriately. Engaging the birthfather early helps avoid surprises and fosters a complete and legally secure adoption plan.
11. Does the adoption agency share medical and social background before a match?
You should receive comprehensive background information on the expectant parent(s) before a match is made. This allows you to make thoughtful, prayerful decisions with a full understanding of potential needs and circumstances.
12. Will the adoption agency help arrange a meeting before birth?
Ask whether the agency will facilitate an in-person or virtual meeting with the expectant parent before delivery. Early connection builds mutual trust and can lead to a smoother, more personal adoption experience.
13. What financial protections are in place if a placement doesn’t happen?
Ask about what happens to the money you’ve already paid if a match does not result in placement. Will the fees roll over to a new match? Are any fees refundable? Understanding your financial responsibility in advance brings peace of mind and clarity as you proceed.
14. What support does the adoption agency offer for ongoing communication with birth parents?
Ask if the agency helps facilitate post-placement contact, serves as a go-between if needed, and helps both parties agree on what kind of communication is preferred. Clear and supported communication plans promote long-term trust and help your child grow with a deeper understanding of their story.
15. What happens if you become pregnant during the adoption process?
Major life changes, such as becoming pregnant, must be reported during your home study. Ask the agency what would happen next and how they typically handle this situation. Discussing your preferences and knowing your options helps you plan faithfully and responsibly in case your family circumstances change.
At Lutheran Family Service, we answer these questions—and many more—with honesty, transparency, and prayer supported by a ministry grounded in Christ’s love, seeking His will in every step of your adoption journey.
The first step in choosing an adoption agency is to request an adoption information packet and schedule your initial consultation. Click here to request yours today
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