Posted on October 28, 2025 by Lindy Hinckley, tLMFT
Church Worker Wellness
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No matter how good your relationships in your congregation are, you will have conflict. It’s normal, inevitable and should be expected. Also, conflict isn’t necessarily bad or destructive; it can help move a congregation to oneness. Even though conflict may cause tension in your congregation, God can use it to grow your and your congregation’s relationship with Him. We are told by Paul in Romans 8:28:
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
“All things” includes conflict.
The first part of conflict resolution is recognizing your own role in a situation. Jesus says in Matthew 7:5
First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
You are responsible for your part in the conflict. How do you be responsible for your own part? Ask God to help you to search your own heart and see your own actions. We ought to treat others and ourselves according to the value God has given to each of us. We are responsible for our spiritual health. Just like we are told on an airplane when speaking of air flow during an emergency, take care of yourself first, so that you will be better able to help those around you.
Once you have viewed your own part in the conflict, you can ask others to see the conflict as an opportunity to resolve issues that are moving them away from oneness. Ephesians 4:2-3 says we are to treat others
with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
There are times when we take the initiative to be reconciled (Matthew 5:23-24, 18:15) and not carry resentment (Ephesians 4:26) but in many cases we need to wait for God’s help in a situation which means that conflict resolution may be up to His timing, not ours. The gospel of Christ is the very thing which heals our conflict. If each person tries to individually center their life on Christ, they cannot help but grow closer to each other. Jesus, in his “high priestly prayer” prays to the Father that his disciples would be unified or “one”. Prayer can help with this. Praying for our own hearts and others to be softened so that the Holy Spirit can do His work.
Even though conflict is inevitable, it does not need to lead to strife, arguments, or angry disputes arising from pride, selfish ambition, and unmet desires. As Romans 12:18 declares,
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
If you find that you need more direction when facing conflict, Lutheran Family Service is dedicated to helping pastors and church workers in situations just like this and are available for you at lutheranfamilyservice.org.
Our church needs healthy workers. Lutheran Family Service knows the importance of proactive wellness and encourages church workers to prioritize mental health just as much as physical health. We have years of experience serving church workers in LCMS congregations and schools. If your congregation, yourself, or a church worker you know would benefit from the support of Lutheran Family Service, refer to or contact us today.
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