It’s true. Waiting is one of the most difficult parts about adoption. There are many things out of your control, and certainly the amount of time you must wait for a placement is one of them. For most couples, the wait time for adoption in their minds is actually calculated using the date they first decided they wanted to be parents. Fertility treatments may have been sought after pregnancy did not occur and by the time pre-adoptive parents come to an adoption agency, they likely could have already been “waiting” for many years already. So, it is easy to understand why being told they will need to wait some more is very difficult news to hear.
So, why must we wait for an adoption? The answer is simple. A birth mother is selecting an adoptive family, not the agency. So, there is no “master list” where we call up the next family in line. Modern adoption allows the birthmother to select just the right family for her child. She will be looking at profile books of families who may have been in the program for a week and others that have been in the program for two years. She is in control of determining who she wants to consider.
When you start your adoption journey, it feels great because you have a lot to do! It feels like ACTION and movement towards your goal, which is a fabulous feeling because so much of infertility is OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. To finally be doing something productive feels exhilarating, even if it is just a bunch of paperwork. It feels like you’re starting the
race…Ready? Set? But then you get to wait some more! The paperwork is in preparation for your home study. Once the home study is complete, the real work of waiting begins. For those of you already through the process of home study, this will sound familiar. You’ve collected the paperwork, talked several hours with a case worker, welcomed them into your life and successfully completed the home study process. You were anxious to get started on your adoption journey and you powered through the home study. Now all you can do is wait.
While it can be very difficult at times, we must continue to trust God’s plan and God’s timing even when we aren’t comfortable with it. God’s timing is perfect. His plan is greater than ours. So here are a few things to consider while you wait with God.
Waiting is difficult and even more so in a society where there is immediate gratification for just about everything else! We hope some of these suggestions help you while you wait on your adoption journey.