Dating Dilemmas – Dear Teen Self…

Posted on May 15th, 2019

How would you finish the rest of the letter, if you were to write a letter to your younger self?

Would you include words of caution or possibly regret? Would you be able to congratulate yourself on how you managed difficult situations? Maybe some of both?

It’s true that we all make mistakes and our lives – past and present – are impacted by sin (Rom. 3:23). But how can we help the teenagers in our families and congregations make the best possible decisions, especially when it comes to dating?

Lutheran Family Service (LFS) offers a biblical viewpoint on dating through its teen outreach project, Whose UR. Leaders from LFS don’t shy away from the hard questions and “squirmy situations” that young people face today. These situations are everyday realities for teens. Tough topics need to be discussed now before wrong answers are found elsewhere, followed by regrets and consequences that last a lifetime.

LFS’ Whose UR leaders share the cornerstones on which healthy relationships are built. Guidelines are also offered to teens to think through dates and not put themselves in situations that they may later regret. Group dates and staying in places that are public are explored as best options when it comes to dating for young teens. Long term impact of today’s decisions are explored, as decisions made while dating affect marriage, whether a teen may realize it or not.

Discussion questions for teens:

  1. Have a purpose — Why do I want to date this person?
  2. What are my goals for going on a date?
  3. What are my top 5 dating rules/guidelines for myself?
  4. How do I want to be remembered if we break up?

After past presentations, parents and church leaders have been very appreciative of the way difficult subjects have been addressed. Whose UR presentations have also opened up topics so teens can ask questions privately with LFS presenters at the event, and can continue important conversations with their parents, youth leaders and pastors long after the event.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Rom. 12:1-2

Brittany Skinner, Ministry Support Assistant for Lutheran Family Service

To learn more about Whose UR and other congregational services offered to your congregation and community through LFS, click here. To schedule a Whose UR event for youth in your area, contact Rev. Mick Wolfram at mwolfram@lutheranfamilyservice.org or call the LFS office at 712-276-9000.