Posted on September 6, 2024 by Amber Dopler, LISW
Parenting
Share
I’ve been trying to write a “back to school” article for three weeks. I sent my two daughters to 5th grade and 12th grade on August 23, wondering how it’s possible that next year will be middle school and college. I think the delay in writing is a result of both my complex emotions about my children’s seemingly constant transitions and the chaos that back-to-school time can bring.
My “counselor brain” wants to give you tips about helping your children transition back to school. You know, things like creating a bedtime and morning routine, making sure they eat a healthy breakfast, and making sure they’re getting enough sleep. All good things.
Have you heard that the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, issued an advisory on August 28, 2024, declaring parental mental health an urgent public health issue? 48% of parents report that most days their stress is completely overwhelming. Dr. Murthy says, “Chasing these unreasonable expectations has left many families feeling exhausted, burned out, and perpetually behind” in reference to financial strain, children’s health & safety concerns, parental isolation and loneliness, technology and social media, and cultural pressures about children’s futures.
My “parent brain” says we don’t need more expectations. We don’t need more reminders of all the things we already know we should be doing but aren’t, and how, because we’re not doing them, we might be messing up our kids. The antidote to overwhelming stress as parents is to remember that we are children.
As we sent our daughters to school this year, our pastor preached from John 17, which led to further contemplation on Jesus’ prayer to God the Father, on our behalf, as He was preparing to leave the people He loved in this world.
I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for those whom You have given me, for they are Yours. And all Mine are Yours, and Yours are Mine, and I am glorified in them. John 17: 9-10
My first meditation was to pray for my children as I left them each day, as Christ prayed to His father for His beloved children as He was preparing to leave this world. But, the Lord did not leave me there with something I could do. He was faithful to remind me that I am His child. All that is His is mine, even the perfect love of the Holy Trinity that existed before the world was.
There might be mornings we realize our kids forgot to brush their teeth when we’ve already pulled into the school parking lot. Or, we might forget to sign a permission slip. Or, they may go to school in sandals or slides on P.E. day. We can trust that our Savior is in the business of redeeming all of our shortcomings and that He is praying that we would remember that we are His children.
My “counselor brain” again says I should share some sage advice. So, here it goes…
As often as you possibly can, lie in the dark with your child as they prepare to fall asleep. Do not be grieved by your shortcomings as you scan your day; that will not make you a better parent. Remember that you are a son or daughter of the One who is praying for you. And, if your child is still awake, tell them that He is also praying for them.
Amber sees clients at Lutheran Family Service’s Bettendorf, Iowa (Quad Cities) office, and throughout the state of Iowa via telehealth.
If you or someone you know is in need of Christ-centered mental health or marriage counseling, refer to or contact us today.
Not located near Bettendorf, Iowa or the Quad Cities area? Visit our website to see if one of our other locations is near you, or, if telehealth/distance counseling is an option at: lutheranfamilyservice.org/mental-health-counseling.
Lutheran Family Service walks with those experiencing difficult times through mental health counseling, marriage counseling, crisis pregnancy counseling, and adoption services.
More posts about Parenting
