Posted on April 24, 2025 by Hannah Fowler, tLMFT
Marriage & Relationships
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How Premarital Counseling Can Save Your Marriage Before It Begins
Thinking back to my engagement almost eight years ago, I remember the excitement of saying “I will!” to the proposal, the happiness in thinking of spending my life with this person, and the fun and stress of wedding planning and preparation. It was occasionally difficult to think what life would be like beyond my wedding day back then, but more than just a wedding day needed preparation. My future spouse and I needed to prepare for our marriage, for the joys and the struggles that come with two becoming one (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:8; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31).
One way that my spouse and I prepared for marriage was attending premarital counseling. Premarital counseling can assist you and your future spouse to engage with topics that you may not have otherwise considered. Even couples that would say they have embraced difficult topics and shared openly while dating and into engagement can benefit from premarital counseling. A trained professional can help you prepare to make your marriage as strong as possible from the start so it can go the distance.
Research also supports that premarital counseling actually works! Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, recognized that couples who succeed gain the knowledge they need before they settle into destructive patterns that will often lead to divorce. They also found that couples who participate in pre-marriage programs experience greater marital success and fulfillment over those who do not participate.
So what kind of topics can you expect to cover in premarital counseling? Solid premarital counseling will explore a full range of issues and topics – from critical communication skills to personality dynamics. Other important topics will also be important to address even if uncomfortable, such as sex, finances, and baggage we may bring into our marriage. Some issues will deserve more time and attention than others. Working with a therapist or trained professional who can help you navigate each one and tailor premarital counseling sessions to you and your future spouse is a wonderful way to prepare for your marriage.
References
Parrott, L., & Parrott, L. SYMBIS Assessment Training Manual. SYMBIS.com
Hannah sees clients at Lutheran Family Service’s Bettendorf, Iowa office and throughout the state of Iowa via telehealth.
If you or someone you know is interested in premarital counseling or in need of Christ-centered mental health or marriage counseling, refer to or contact us today.
Not located Bettendorf, Iowa? Visit our website to see if one of our other locations is near you, or, if telehealth/distance counseling is an option at: lutheranfamilyservice.org/mental-health-counseling.
Lutheran Family Service walks with those experiencing difficult times through mental health counseling, marriage counseling, crisis pregnancy counseling, and adoption services.
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