Posted on March 26, 2026 by Rev. David Gunderson, tLMFT
Church Worker Wellness
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Five-year-old Billy was crying because Fluffy, the family cat, had died. Billy’s mother stepped out on the front porch and said, “Billy, you don’t need to cry. Fluffy is in heaven with God!” At that point, Billy turned to his mother and said, “What does God want with a dead cat?”
That humorous story shares three important lessons for church workers.
Billy is experiencing grief over the loss of his family’s cat.
Grief happens when there is a loss in one’s life and often involves five stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. These stages do not occur in any particular order, and people often move back and forth between them forever. Grief is not a straight line but a multi‑layered, messy process in which moments of hurt can return even long after acceptance. As caregivers, church workers need to be prepared to walk with those who are grieving.
In the story, Billy’s mother attempted to comfort her son. But Billy didn’t need theological explanations. What he needed was to know he was loved and not alone. The best thing she could have done was simply sit beside him and give him a hug.
Being present is the best way to help. Show compassion by listening, by staying with the grieving person, and—when the time is right—by offering words of comfort. As a pastor, I often prayed with loved ones shortly after a death, sometimes quoting Jesus’ words to Martha:
“I am the resurrection and the life…” (John 11:25–26).
These words give hope in dark days. Jesus reminds us that we do not travel through our valleys of sorrow alone.
When Billy asks, “What does God want with a dead cat?” the answer is simple: God doesn’t need dead cats, dogs, or people. Our God is a living God, and Jesus came to give us life. As Jesus said,
“I have come that you may have life and have it completely.” (John 10:10)
Holy Week is a time to ponder Jesus’ suffering and death. Easter is a celebration of His victory. But for church workers, Lent and Easter are also exhausting seasons filled with services, dinners, and events. Many need a break once Easter arrives.
Taking time off helps church workers recharge. My own family often escaped to a nearby town on Easter Sunday for rest and renewal. One Easter getaway in 2008 stands out: after services, we traveled to Omaha for dinner and a hotel stay. Just as we began the three-hour drive home, I received a call — Doug’s wife, Mary, only 42, had suddenly died.
I asked our student pastor to go to Doug’s home. He asked, “What do I do? What should I say?” I told him, “Just go and be with them.” Later, Doug said how much he appreciated the vicar’s presence. The vicar felt he had done little, but to the grieving family, he was a gift from God.
A church worker is a gift from God — someone God gives to His Church to show His love and compassion, especially to those struggling with grief. They help people remember the sure hope and joy we have in Christ our Risen Redeemer.
— Rev. David Gunderson, tLMFT
Our church needs healthy workers. Lutheran Family Service knows the importance of proactive wellness and encourages church workers to prioritize mental health just as much as physical health. We have years of experience serving church workers in LCMS congregations and schools. If your congregation, yourself, or a church worker you know would benefit from the support of Lutheran Family Service, refer to or contact us today.
For more information on dealing with grief, visit the Lutheran Family Service website for work from Dr. Mark Vande Braak, Director of Grief, Loss, and Trauma. Dr. Mark is available to help anywhere in the United States via telehealth or in-person in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Reach out today.
[email protected] | 605-271-1081 | lutheranfamilyservice.org/contact
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