Posted on June 23, 2026 by Jamie McWade, LMHC
Parenting
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Think back to the changes you experienced between the ages of 5 and 18.
At five years old, you were learning how to tie your shoes, read simple books, and navigate the world with growing independence. By eighteen, people were asking what career you planned to pursue, where you would attend college, and what your future would look like.
That is an incredible amount of growth in a relatively short period of time.
As parents, it can be easy to forget just how much development takes place during those years. From kindergarten through high school graduation, children and teenagers experience rapid emotional, physical, relational, and cognitive growth. Every friendship, disappointment, success, challenge, and conversation helps shape how they understand themselves, others, and the world around them.
One of the challenges of parenting is that growth is not always visible in the moment. A child may look older, speak more maturely, or appear capable on the outside while internally their brain is still developing important skills such as emotional regulation, planning, decision-making, and self-control.
Research tells us that the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for judgment, impulse control, and long-term thinking, is one of the last areas of the brain to fully mature. In fact, development continues well into young adulthood.
For parents, this reality can be both comforting and challenging.
We want our children to make wise choices. We hope they will respond with patience, responsibility, and maturity. Yet growth rarely happens overnight. God created us to grow over time, learning through relationships, experiences, guidance, and grace.
One framework that helps explain this process is the Townsend Growth Model, developed by Christian psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. The model emphasizes that healthy growth occurs in the context of relationships and is nurtured through connection, truth, grace, healthy boundaries, and support. Rather than expecting immediate maturity, the model reminds us that growth is a gradual process that unfolds over time.
Children grow best when they are connected to caring adults who walk alongside them through each stage of development.
And let’s be honest: growing children can sometimes be difficult to love well.
They push boundaries. They test limits. They make mistakes. At times, they may say or do things that leave us feeling frustrated, hurt, or exhausted. Yet much of this behavior is part of the process of learning who they are and how they fit into the world around them.
Perhaps part of our calling as parents is to remember that development is a journey, not a race.
This summer, consider taking a moment to reflect on your child’s current stage of development. Ask yourself, “What is actually age-appropriate right now?” Just because a child looks older or taller than their peers does not mean their emotional or cognitive development has advanced beyond their years.
When we adjust our expectations to match where our children truly are, we create more opportunities for connection and growth.
As followers of Christ, we can also remember the patience God shows us in our own growth. Spiritual maturity does not happen overnight, and neither does emotional maturity. Philippians 1:6 reminds us, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
God is patient with us as He continues His work in our lives. We have the opportunity to reflect that same patience to our children.
Jesus modeled this beautifully in the way He treated children.
When others tried to push children aside, Jesus welcomed them. He slowed down for them, blessed them, and made space for them. In Matthew 19:14, Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
In Mark 10, Jesus became indignant when the disciples attempted to keep children away from Him. Rather than viewing children as interruptions, He embraced them and blessed them.
Jesus did not expect children to behave like fully mature adults. He met them with compassion, patience, and love.
While we do not have Christ’s perfect wisdom, we can follow His example. We can pause before expecting something from our children that their growing brains are not yet ready to process. We can choose curiosity over criticism, connection over correction, and grace over frustration.
As parents, one of the fruits of the Spirit we often need most is patience. Galatians 5:22 reminds us that patience is evidence of God’s work within us. Parenting gives us countless opportunities to practice it.
Growth takes time.
Our children need more than instruction. They need patient adults who are willing to walk alongside them through the process, celebrating progress, offering guidance, and extending grace along the way.
The truth is that parenting can be both joyful and challenging. Sometimes families need additional support as they navigate behavioral concerns, emotional struggles, communication difficulties, life transitions, or simply the everyday demands of raising children in today’s world.
At Lutheran Family Service, our Christian mental health counselors provide compassionate, faith-centered support for individuals, parents, children, and families. Whether you’re facing a specific challenge or simply seeking guidance for the season you’re in, our counselors are here to walk alongside you with professional expertise grounded in Christian care and hope.
As God continues His work of growth in your child, you don’t have to navigate the journey alone.
If you or someone you know would benefit from support navigating the complexities of family life, contact us today.
Lutheran Family Service walks with those experiencing difficult times through mental health counseling, marriage counseling, crisis pregnancy counseling, and adoption services.
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