Focus your attention on the zebras in the picture above. There are no 2 zebras that have identical stripes. There are also no 2 humans that are exactly alike. It’s important that you learn all about your own stripes before trying to learn about a date’s stripes.  It takes time but it is easier if you focus on one of you at a time especially when dating.

Have you ever tried to learn 2 things at the same time?  It’s hard!  You have to split your attention between the 2 things then you end up missing something important along the way because your attention was elsewhere. Dating is very similar. Here’s how.

Who are you?

Learning who you are is one of the most important tasks for a teenager. How well do you know yourself?  What makes you happy? Angry? Frustrated? What makes you tick?  What is important to you? What are some of your values? Beliefs?  The answers to all of these questions come together to answer the one big question:  Who are you?  You’re probably not a zebra but you may be a son, daughter, athlete, student, book worm, musician, gamer, etc.  Here’s a big one – Don’t forget you are also a CHILD OF GOD.

Before you begin dating someone, know the answers to these hard questions.  It is extremely important to be comfortable with who you are before you add someone else to the learning process.  Imagine trying to get to know yourself at the same time you are getting to know someone else!  You are a very complex and unique individual.  And so is the person you’ll be dating.  You won’t want to miss out on some important information about your date because you are still trying to get to know yourself.  So, focus some attention on yourself first, then add a date!

24 hours a day, 7 days a week

Being yourself is extremely important at all times. You can’t be the warm and fuzzy Christian when you’re at church, then walk out of the doors and be the star basketball player with an ego the size of the moon. You’re always a child of God. 24/7.  This includes all of your social media activities, too!  It’s tempting to try to be one person when you are face to face with someone and a completely different person online.  This is not healthy and will set you up for difficult relationships down the road.

When you are comfortable with who you are and understand yourself, then it’s time to add someone else (a boyfriend or girlfriend) to the equation.  Remember – It’s easier to try to learn one thing at a time, right?  God loves you and you are His.  Carry yourself in a way that reflects your identity as God’s beloved child 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Learn as much as you can about who you are.  Then have fun adding someone new to the equation and learn about them!