Posted on June 6, 2026 by Tiffany Bergman, Adoption Case Worker
Adoption
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If you’re considering adoption for your baby, one of the most significant decisions you’ll make is choosing an adoptive family.
Many expectant parents tell us this part of the process feels both hopeful and overwhelming. You may have a clear picture of the family you envision for your child, or you may have no idea where to begin. Both experiences are completely normal.
The good news is that you don’t have to navigate this decision alone.
At Lutheran Family Service, we walk alongside expectant parents throughout the adoption planning process, helping them identify what matters most and providing support every step of the way. Whether you’re early in your decision-making process or ready to begin reviewing adoptive families, we’re here to help you create an adoption plan that reflects your hopes for your child.
There is no “perfect” adoptive family.
Instead, the goal is to find a family that aligns with your values, priorities, and vision for your child’s future.
As you begin exploring your options, it can be helpful to think about two categories:
Many expectant parents discover that their priorities become clearer as they learn more about prospective adoptive families. What feels most important at the beginning of the process may evolve as they reflect, pray, ask questions, and meet families.
Would you prefer your child to grow up in a rural community, a small town, or a larger city?
Some expectant parents also consider whether they would like the adoptive family to live nearby or farther away, especially if they hope to maintain contact after placement.
Do you hope one parent will stay home with your child? Are you comfortable with daycare or other childcare arrangements?
There is no right or wrong answer, but understanding a family’s plans can help you determine whether they align with your expectations.
Some families already have children, while others are hoping to adopt their first child.
You may have preferences regarding:
Think about the overall lifestyle you hope your child experiences.
This may include:
For some expectant parents, it is meaningful to know that grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins will play an active role in a child’s life.
Learning about a family’s support system can provide valuable insight into the environment your child will experience.
Many parents thoughtfully consider how their child’s cultural identity will be supported and celebrated throughout their life.
If this is important to you, discussing these topics openly with prospective adoptive families can help you make an informed decision.
For Christian families, faith often plays an important role in choosing an adoptive family.
You may want to learn about:
These conversations can help you understand how a family plans to nurture your child’s spiritual growth and support your child’s relationship with God.
Today’s adoptions are often more open than in previous generations.
Some birth parents desire:
It is important to discuss expectations early and find a family whose vision for the relationship aligns with your own.
Sometimes the most important factor isn’t a checklist item.
Many expectant parents describe a sense of connection when they read a family’s story, view their profile, or meet them in person. While practical considerations matter, personal connection often plays a significant role in the final decision.
One of the most common concerns expectant parents have is whether they will be responsible for finding an adoptive family on their own.
When you work with Lutheran Family Service, you don’t have to start from scratch.
One of the benefits of working with an adoption agency is that we’ve already done extensive behind-the-scenes work to carefully screen and prepare prospective adoptive families before they are ever presented to an expectant parent.
Families in our adoption program have completed a thorough approval process designed to ensure they are prepared to provide a safe, stable, and loving home for a child.
Prospective adoptive families must complete requirements that include:
Because of this process, expectant parents can focus on finding the family that feels like the best fit for their child rather than worrying about whether a family has been thoroughly vetted.
Your Lutheran Family Service adoption specialist will help you think through what matters most to you.
Together, we’ll discuss factors such as:
Many expectant parents find it helpful to identify both preferences and non-negotiables as they begin the process.
Once we understand what is most important to you, we’ll provide profiles of families who align with your priorities.
Family profile books tell the story of prospective adoptive families and often include:
We do not present families who do not meet your non-negotiable criteria.
As you review profiles, you may discover that some priorities become more important while others become less significant. Many expectant parents find that seeing a family’s story and photos helps them gain clarity about what they are looking for.
If one or more families stand out to you, your adoption specialist can help gather additional information.
This allows you to learn more about a family before deciding whether you would like to meet them.
Questions often focus on topics such as:
If you choose, Lutheran Family Service can arrange a match meeting with a prospective adoptive family.
These meetings can take place in person or virtually and provide an opportunity for everyone to get to know one another.
Many expectant parents appreciate hearing directly from adoptive families about:
At the same time, families often appreciate the opportunity to learn more about you, your story, your interests, and the hopes you have for your child.
Some expectant parents meet several families before making a decision, while others feel a strong connection after meeting just one. There is no right or wrong approach.
As you get to know prospective adoptive families, there are several important conversations to have:
Do your hopes for communication after placement align with theirs?
Discussing expectations regarding updates, photos, visits, and future contact can help ensure everyone is on the same page.
If there is a name that holds special meaning to you, this is a good time to discuss it with the prospective adoptive family.
You may also want to discuss expectations surrounding the hospital experience, including:
These conversations help everyone understand one another’s expectations and create a plan that respects your wishes.
Once you’ve completed any meetings and gathered the information you need, you can take as much time as necessary to make your decision.
There is no pressure to rush.
When you choose an adoptive family and both parties decide to move forward, Lutheran Family Service continues to guide and support everyone through the remainder of the adoption process.
Choosing an adoptive family is one of the most personal decisions you will ever make.
It often involves prayer, reflection, questions, emotions, and careful consideration of what you hope for your child’s future.
If you’re considering adoption, you deserve accurate information, compassionate support, and the time to make the decision that is right for you and your child.
At Lutheran Family Service, our role is not to pressure you toward a decision but to provide counseling, guidance, resources, and support as you explore your options and create an adoption plan that reflects your hopes and values.
Whatever stage of the process you’re in, we’re here to walk alongside you.
If you would like to learn more about adoption planning, talk with an adoption specialist, or begin exploring adoptive family profiles, contact Lutheran Family Service today.
Text: “AdoptionHelp” to 56525
Phone: 877-510-2229
Email: [email protected]
Contact Form: LutheranFamilyService.org/contact
Learn more about out unplanned pregnancy support services: https://lutheranfamilyservice.org/pregnancy-support/
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